Author: admin

Is Self-Care Selfish?

Is Self-Care Selfish?

When we say “you can’t pour from an empty cup” it’s so simple to understand just how true that is. And yet, pouring into our own cup can be a deeply complex healing journey.

One of the common beliefs I hear from others, and have had to untangle within myself, is that “Self-Care is selfish”. Leave a 🧡 in the comments if you have also struggled with this at times.

This kind of belief is a showstopper when it comes to regularly investing in our self-care because our beliefs drive our actions and “selfishness” is one of the many things society frowns upon. Meanwhile, selflessness is publicly praised over and over and over. And there’s nothing wrong with selflessness, unless of course your cup is empty.

So what are we really saying? If selfishness makes you bad, then by extension, investing in self also makes you bad. Shame mindset is the binary place where things are either good or bad. When we carry shame within us, we are consistently trying to be seen as good. Hence, the showstopper. We can only do things that will guide others to see us as good.

So how do we begin to untangle this? There are many ways to come at it.

1) What do you value most? Being seen as good or living a life that feels good to you? This showstopper affects those of us who value most what others think about us. If that’s our top value, then living a life that feels good to us is automatically less important.

2) Is it a real problem that others think of you as selfish? What are the real life consequences of this outcome? Do these people pay your bills? If not, why do you need their approval?

3) In my experience, those who say “self-care is selfish” are benefitting / profiting from your over-giving and lack of personal boundaries. So them not wanting you to invest in yourself is actually them being selfish. Food for thought.

4) Whose permission do you need to create a life that feels good to you? Theirs or yours? Believing we need other people’s permission is one of the ways we give our power away. Being willing to sign our own permission slip is a huge way to take your power back.

Ultimate Guide to Self-Care by Carly Whorton

The Ultimate Guide to Self-Care is there to help you untangle all the pieces that go into developing your own customized self-care rituals and routines that help you live your best-feeling life.

This guide is available in printed form or eBook! Etsy Shop:

If you’re interested in even more individualized support, I also offer one-on-one coaching sessions to help you clarify your inner world and dissolve the blocks standing in your way. Book a session here:…

Wishing you a life that feels like it is tailor made to every facet of your beautiful self. 💕🌟

Take good care! YOU deserve it!!

Spiritual Journey Check-In With Yourself

Spiritual Journey Check-In With Yourself

As we live, we learn, and we grow to understand ourselves more and more and more. This 15 minute self-assessment is meant to help you reflect on where you’ve grown to today. What is your current capacity? And what are you still practicing?

I really enjoyed seeing which of these I felt really strong on and which were clearly elements I’m newer to practicing. I get excited when I think about 1 year from now, 5 years from now, doing this again and being able to compare how much growth is possibly in such a short time!

I hope you enjoy this free gift from my heart to yours. You may also enjoy these other interactive exercises:

Values Exercise

Toolbox Inventory

Deservability Treatment Video

Deservability Treatment Blog Post

Sending love your way!

~ Carly

Growth Mindset | Week of July 11 – 17 | Astrological Forecast

Growth Mindset | Week of July 11 – 17 | Astrological Forecast

This week’s astrological focus is on the Capricorn Full Moon, happening Wednesday, July 13th

In the sign of the tactical Seagoat, this lunation encourages us to celebrate the structures of care that we’ve built so far this year, and to reevaluate what to say NO to versus what to say YES to moving forward.

Some Contemplations for this Capricorn Full Moon…

When we’re talking about Capricorn – your life’s work, your legacy – what if retirement isn’t the goal? 

  • If we’re doing work that only pays us in money, are we satisfied with that?
  • If your work pays you by feeding your soul, why would you ever “retire” from that?
  • What is the “why” behind what you want?
Deservability Treatment June 29 2021

Deservability Treatment June 29 2021

I woke up Saturday morning, July 9, 2016, and it became Day 1 of the rest of my life. The literal start to the day came as I popped awake with a Very Clear thought in my mind that fell out of my mouth as I let the awareness wash over me that I was Done with living a depressed life. Either I was going to figure out how to have a happy life, or I was done. That weekend I maxed out my self-care. My mantra was “I’m going to do self-care until I feel better.” I used every tool I’d come across. Gratitude, journaling, exercise, water, sunshine, meditation, and the crown jewel, the Deservability Treatment.

A Plate of Drunken Noodles as a Spiritual Experience

A Plate of Drunken Noodles as a Spiritual Experience

By Carly Whorton

Written June 14, 2021

Spiritual Growth is often something we reach for as a goal and something to work towards but how do you know if your spirit is actually growing??? What does that even mean?

Today I got a random craving to drive an hour round trip to treat myself to Thai food for lunch. As I took in the menu, I found my favorite “Drunken Noodles” was labeled “Dinner Only”. A tiny ripple of disappointment moved through my gut before the idea occurred to me “maybe I can pick a similar dish and get them to add stuff to it until it’s Drunken Noodles?” Seemed legit to me.

As I sat there with my plan, waiting for the waiter to come back to take my order, my old thought patterns creeped up. Why don’t I just pick something different that is available? Why do I have to be difficult? I should pick something where I don’t have to engage the waiter in a whole long thing and make a ton of special requests. BUT Drunken Noodles is in my top 3 all time fav meals. Quite the pickle.

In the end I decided, it doesn’t hurt to ask. Do a bit of feeling out the waiter to see how big a deal it is that we abide by this “dinner only” proclamation. So I began, “I see Drunken Noodles is marked dinner only – “ and that’s where he kindly interrupted me to let me know they’d “be happy to make me Drunken Noodles for lunch.” Judging by how he chuckled at me, I must’ve looked just as excited as I felt.

When he sat my steaming plate of Drunken Noodles in front of me, the wave of satisfaction that moved through my whole body nearly took my breath away. The Universe was 100% ready and able to give me Exactly what I wanted and I marveled at the deciding factor coming down to me being willing to ask. That’s all. Even though the road looked closed, faith said “trust me, there’s a way to get there.” What I wanted was right there, waiting for me to reach out and accept its reality. And I did.

With every single bite I tasted the sweetness of witnessing the growth of my own spirit. I took up space in the world. I risked being told no. I believed I could figure out a way to get what I want. I believed I deserve what I want. I didn’t settle.

Spiritual growth – how do you witness yours? 


Celebrations of Quarter 2 2021

Celebrations of Quarter 2 2021

Life is an endless celebration of milestones, steppingstones, that lead us to the destination we seek and So Much More! By breathing in the present moment, and breathing out expectation, we allow the path to unfold beneath our feet. As we extend ourself to take the next step, full of readiness and willingness, Source answers by meeting our foot with the steppingstone it needs. Each step brings a new perspective, a new vantage point where we can rendezvous with opportunity for inspiration.