Tag: Law of Attraction

Three Rules for Shadow Work to Reclaim Your Power

Three Rules for Shadow Work to Reclaim Your Power

When we feel that someone is hurting us, it’s really a reflection of our own inner world. That’s a tough pill to swallow. But as difficult as it is to accept, I’m learning to embrace it by standing in this empowered place where I am fully responsible for my reality. So when somebody says something to me that steps on my feelings a little bit, I take that as a sign that there is some fine tuning, clarification, that needs to be integrated into my inner world. Yet at the beginning of shadow work, always, we have to zoom out on the person we think is ruffling our feathers rather than focusing in on ourselves. Because they are shining a light on something we are carrying, poking and prodding at our wounds that want to be healed. These people and situations point us to exactly where we need to look within ourselves for our highest possible healing – and this is essentially the gateway to shadow work. 

My first rule of shadow work is to Let it Come to You.

I’ve learned to see everything as a reflection of my spiritual healing path. Every manifestation, even the contrasting ones, as an opportunity to work though my soul’s healing journey. My mother wound, for example, runs deep while my relationship with my cousin/business partner may even run deeper. These ones have been the most present in my life lately. But these days I’m seeing it as a blessing in disguise, because I know that these areas of contrast and tension offer the greatest opportunities for my soul’s growth. And you don’t need to go digging around in all the darkest corners of your being to find those areas – like my relationships with my mom and cousin, they’re just there.

You also don’t have to do it all at once. Shadow elements that need healing will arise when the time is right, and it’s never just one isolated thing – it’s all connected. That’s why it’s perfectly okay to take things one piece at a time. Every small piece that you address, even if you haven’t “healed” the whole relationship or situation, resounds throughout your life and brings healing in ways you couldn’t have imagined. As always, it’s important to trust the process and to trust your higher self in providing you with what you need, as you need it.

My second rule of shadow work is Acceptance – that This is Where I Am Right Now.

Like I said before, it can be difficult to accept that our emotional reactions to triggering events are really a reflection of our own inner world. Our emotions always have a message for us. I like to think that, when we feel hurt or attacked, our inner being drops down those emotions like little lifesaving gifts (kind of like those parachuted sponsor gifts in the Hunger Games) because the answer lies in the hurt feelings themselves. If you can accept where you’re at, then you can bring yourself to the observation deck and just sit back, relax, and watch this energy. It has the answer inside of it.

When you observe the energy from the neutral perspective of the observation deck, what do you see? Maybe you’ll notice a pattern or theme. I gained the insight that my relationship with my cousin mirrors the dynamic of the relationship I have with my dad. There’s a pattern, and I’m the common denominator. I have no doubt that these are karmic relationships, soul contracts of some kind. I also have no doubt that their souls are growing and benefiting as much as mine from our relationships – the only difference being that I’m aware of it! There’s power in that awareness to take the lessons into your own hands and really make the most of them.

What I’ve learned through the relationships with my cousin and my mom especially is that I place high importance on their authority, letting it far outweigh my own inner authority. It seems to me that that’s what a lot of shadow work comes down to – the places, people, or situations we’ve given our power away to – and reclaiming that power. Following my inner authority has found me in far greater alignment with my soul than I’ve ever felt before. This leads me to my final rule of shadow work:

My third rule of shadow work is Agreeing to Disagree.

I feel like a totally different person when I live my life from a place of soul alignment. With my power placed as wholly as possible on my inner authority. When it comes to the push and pull that sometimes arises between inner and outer authority, Abraham poses the question, “Would you rather be right, or would you rather feel good?” That choice is a tool – it’s agreeing to disagree. Being able to ask yourself in any given moment is a tool. Do I need them to understand me, or do I want to feel good? Do I need them to understand me, or is understanding myself enough right now? Remove anything and anyone else from the equation and ask yourself, “How do I want to feel?”

It’s okay if triggering comments rock the boat for a minute. If we’re only patient enough to let the dust settle instead of jumping into defensive mode and vying to be understood, if we just let it unfold, then we can see the richness of the opportunity at hand – to be led directly to the places where we’ve given away our power. It’s our choice whether we reclaim it or not, but it belongs to us. Our personal power, our inner authority, is inherently ours. Part of reclaiming your power is standing in your truth, and part of standing in your truth is sometimes stepping back and agreeing to disagree. 

How do you want to feel? When you ask that question you give yourself permission to choose where you’ll place your focus, such that you can line up with any feeling you want. Our minds are powerful and have the ability to create that for us. But we have to choose. “We have the energy that creates worlds flowing through us,” as Abraham says. So if you ever have the feeling like you’re here to build a better world – you are. And you can! 

But, you can also choose to believe outside authority. To give your power away. Then we get hung up in second guessing ourselves any time someone makes some bonehead remark that pokes at our deepest wounds (ahem, my cousin.) But, in the case of my cousin, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know how or why he’s hurting me. And it’s my choice whether or not to put any stock into what he says. It hurts me at first but I take that as a sign to use my shadow work process, to apply my tools of awareness and engagement with the emotional energy which arises. My initial reaction is to put stock into his opinion, but my process and tools bring my power back where it belongs – in my being. 

I appreciate my cousin, and anyone else who ruffles my feathers, for pointing me to where my power still lives outside of myself. I’ve put in the work to reclaim quite a bit of that power, and it has benefited not only those relationships with contrast, but my whole life and all of my interactions. The shadow work process has helped me across the board and has been healing for my overall energy. It’s never just one isolated thing, remember? It’s all connected. So it’s okay to take things one piece at a time. Every small piece affects the whole.

Again, by “one piece at a time,” I don’t mean that you need to heal entire wounds in full, one by one. We go in levels and circle around the same things over and over again in life, like how I mentioned the pattern in my relationships with my dad and cousin. Repetition is part of the process! So “one thing at a time” might mean a particular memory with your mom that rises up. You can address that memory and do any shadow work that you feel needs to be done around it, but you don’t need to go digging any deeper. The emotions or memories will come up as they need to and in the perfect timing for your own highest healing.

By doing shadow work, you move closer and closer to your authentic self, reclaiming your personal power. What have you learned about yourself through shadow work, and how has it changed your life? I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments section below.

Thank you for reading, dear friends! Find more articles like this one on the Owning Authenticity blog and hear more stories on my i Learned podcast. Explore the rest of my offerings on my website www.owningauthenticity.com

Content from Episode 46 of “i learned…” podcast by Carly Whorton, adapted by Maddie Billings

The Art of Allowing: Let the Path Unfold Beneath Your Feet

The Art of Allowing: Let the Path Unfold Beneath Your Feet

Not too long ago I hosted my first-ever series of online events, a spotlight series on the Moon sign. The idea for this series was born in a moment of panic, when I was hosting an event and was asked a question that caught me off guard, that I didn’t have an answer for. In that moment, instead of indulging the panic, I relaxed into it. I calmly listened to the question, and from that calmness was able to channel an answer. The answer that came through resonated with the group and brought out the idea in another participant that I should host a whole event just on Moon signs.

I was so excited to launch this series but found it hard not to panic when the registration deadline rolled around for event number one and only four people had signed up, leaving six seats unfilled. In the true Abraham-Hicks spirit of “everything is always working out for me,” I chose to trust that those four individuals were the perfect ones to be at this very first event in my brand new spotlight series – and I did my best to relax into that same feeling of panic.

I was so excited to launch this series but found it hard not to panic when the registration deadline rolled around for event number one and only four people had signed up, leaving six seats unfilled.

The time came and the event got started, but between technical difficulties, time zone mix ups and other little mishaps, only two of the registered participants were actually in attendance. This tiny group is not what I had originally planned. But guess what? It was absolutely fucking magical. The three of us, myself and the two women who made it to the event, all had a wonderful conversation where they both opened up and shared a lot. We spent minimal time on the slideshow part, maybe about twenty minutes, so each of them got a good forty-five to fifty minute reading – ample time to chat and share and discuss. I had great discussion with each of them but they also really resonated with each other, which was super cool to see. Even as strangers on laptop and phone screens, this small group felt connected by the energy flowing between us.

After this experience I actually changed the framework for my next spotlight series on North and South Nodes to look more like this first event of the Moon sign series. This time I scheduled three options with three seats each to hopefully help create the same environment of energetic flow and connection that was so amazing about that first event. This time around, all nine seats sold. I even ended up adding a bonus session with another three seats, and that one sold out too. The next month I expanded a bit more and offered five sessions with three seats each and just kept on selling out. I was on a roll and was already dreaming up my next spotlight series, which I decided would be on the Midheaven. 

This time around, all nine seats sold. I even ended up adding a bonus session with another three seats, and that one sold out too.

I started to notice through the other events I was hosting that I was attracting a lot of Gemini and Pisces Midheavens. This was interesting because I personally have a Gemini Sun and stellium, AND a Pisces North Node and Mars. When I would interact with these people, they would feel like kindred spirits. While I feel a connection with all of the zodiac energies (we all contain every single one!), those two specifically show up in my life all the time. Because of this, I decided to host an event specifically for Gemini Midheavens – which then led to the idea of hosting individual sessions for Midheavens in each of the signs. 

It quickly occurred to me that this would be a pretty huge undertaking and I wasn’t really sure how to move forward with it, so I just left the idea alone. It didn’t seem feasible. But a couple days later I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with the idea to host sessions for the whole Midheaven axis instead of each individual sign. The axis consists of the Midheaven at the top and what’s called the Nadir at the bottom, which is a slightly lesser known birth chart aspect that points to something just as fascinating as the Midheaven. By using this axis to pair up the signs I’d be able to cut the number of events in half, and suddenly the whole thing became possible again. 

I then spent about five hours straight creating one piece after the next, writing copy and designing graphics, scheduling events, and even listing the events on MeetUp – and it all happened in one wave of inspired creative energy. The whole ordeal started simply with an idea and an excel sheet (which as a Capricorn Midheaven is where pretty much everything starts!) 

This all just unfolded, and it feels like a perfect example of how the art of allowing works. Abraham-Hicks, who teaches the law of attraction, is who I learned this from, but there are lots of teachers out there who teach the law of attraction. Hicks has renamed her work a few times through the years, starting out with “the science of deliberate creation” – “science” because it’s always changing, “deliberate” because we get to choose, and “creation” because we each are the magnet that our reality forms around. It’s most commonly known by its next iteration, “the law of attraction,” but is actually currently named “the art of allowing.” “Allowing” is the idea that what you want, you’ve already created. That in so-called “negative” experiences, or contrasting events, you create what you want because in that moment of contrast you know what you don’t want, and it automatically creates what you do want. All of those things that you’ve created along the journey of this lifetime, and all of the things that mass consciousness has created as a whole – it all exists in this vibrational reality that Abraham-Hicks calls “the vortex.”

All of those things that you’ve created along the journey of this lifetime, and all of the things that mass consciousness has created as a whole – it all exists in this vibrational reality that Abraham-Hicks calls “the vortex.”

The art of allowing is where you deliberately attune your frequency to the frequency of what’s in your vortex. As soon as your frequency matches, then all that creative energy in there is able to become manifest, to flow through you and out into the physical world. It materializes around you. My creative solution of using the Midheaven axis, which resulted from the contrasting Midheaven event conundrum, sent me into the vortex. And then from there the whole thing just became.

I’ve learned to stay open to the next inspired idea, to allow things to unfold piece by piece. I make space for this in my life by planning ahead only about a month at a time. I set my sights, plan things out, and create structure for the next few weeks ahead of me. And then, as I get into it, and I live and I learn and I talk to people, and I soak up what’s around me and I point myself on purpose, and I deliberately try to feel better than my average and to raise my frequency – often – I get access to better and better and better ideas. 

The effortless unfolding of the vortex is easy, it’s the path of most fun. And it’s what led to some of my favorite and most successful events through my spiritual business thus far. Have you ever experienced the vortex? I would love to hear about your experience in the comments section below!

Thank you for reading, dear friends! Find more articles like this one on the Owning Authenticity blog and hear more stories on my i Learned podcast. Explore the rest of my offerings on my website www.owningauthenticity.com

Content from Episode 9 of “i learned…” podcast by Carly Whorton, adapted by Maddie Billings

I Followed My “Hell Yes” & It Changed My Life

I Followed My “Hell Yes” & It Changed My Life

The concept of “hell yes” energy is a simple one. When you feel “hell yes” energy you don’t have to think about your answer, or your next move, it just happens. Easily and like a no-brainer. The answer is an Emphatic HELL YES! And if you’re not getting a “hell yes”, it means it’s a “hell no”, or at the very least a “not right now”. 

Before I learned the magic of “hell yes” energy, I didn’t like how I felt on a day-to-day basis. Every day I put on a mask and tried to be productive in society, but I was miserable on the inside. Eventually I discovered Abraham Hicks, and from her I learned how to use my emotions to navigate my life, how to use my emotional guidance system – a system which we all have within us. It was truly life changing, and in the four and a half years since then, I’ve been putting it all to the test. 

It began with the decision to quit my job at a software company, just a few months after adopting this mindset, and spend one year testing the theories that Abraham Hicks had given me. I had saved up enough money to support myself for that time, so why not? I was going to jump off that cliff that she’s always talking about. I was going to trust Source, trust that everything is always working out for me. I chose to trust in the “hell yes” energy, and it started me down a path of inspired action. 

I chose to trust in the “hell yes” energy, and it started me down a path of inspired action.

This leap of faith changed the entire course of my life, and it didn’t even take the whole year to pay off. I immediately felt free. No plans, no job, and nothing but time – I was going to just see what unfolded. I put myself in a place of no expectation and reached for positive energy as much as I possibly could, and I raised my own vibration by pointing my attention to things that felt really, really, really good. I wanted to know if it was real, if the Universe would match that vibration. On the other side of the coin, if it were true that I am the deliberate creator of my reality, and my reality is fucking miserable – did that mean it was my fault? Was I doing this to myself? Really?? That one was a tough pill to swallow, but it was medicine that healed my whole world. 

Point your attention towards something that feels good and see how your life can become a reflection of that. If you don’t feel good with the direction you’re pointing your energy, nothing productive is going to come out of that. Absolutely nothing. But when you intentionally point your energy towards things that feel good – everything comes out of that. Everything you’ve ever wished for is on the path of most fun (that’s actually what Abraham Hicks calls it, “the path of most fun,”) which is an analogy that really resonates with me, because I like to have fun! I’m very geared toward having a fun life, so that’s part of my trauma of being lonely and depressed. I felt that I was truly holding myself back from having a fun life. On some level, I think I already knew that. I would get invited to go places, but would feel so unhappy with myself that I couldn’t even get myself to go. 

Point your attention towards something that feels good and see how your life can become a reflection of that.

Just days after leaving my software company job, a friend of mine invited me to join her on a trip to Japan. I said “hell yes” and then there I was, 2 weeks later, in Tokyo, just before New Year’s Eve. I rang in the new year of 2017 on a Pacific Ocean beach, around a bonfire, in Okinawa, Japan. At this point I began to understand that my life was going to be different now. And I was right, it only got better from there. 

A week later we were in Thailand for 10 days of wandering around Chiang Mai then Bangkok. In what felt like no time, we embarked on the sixty-hour trip back to Dallas. Sleeping on planes has never been one of my talents so during the extended journey home, I slept about eight hours. I returned home exhausted, but had all the time in the world to rest and recover. It took a couple weeks to get back on a regular sleep schedule, which was just in time for another friend to ask me if I wanted to accompany her on a trip to Australia and New Zealand. I said “hell yes,” and we spent 10 days of March taking in the sunny scenery. 

Not long after returning home from this adventure, I set off on a sixteen-hour car ride from Dallas to Delta, Colorado to visit another friend. I spent a week there enjoying the beautiful Colorado summer, then arrived back home just in time for my birthday. Just around the corner was the end of my lease in Dallas, which meant I was free to leave and go anywhere. So when I was invited to become a co-founder of a brand new start up business, it was an instant “hell yes.” The time was right. 

So when I was invited to become a co-founder of a brand new start up business, it was an instant “hell yes.” The time was right.

I had always wanted to be an entrepreneur, and this was my first-ever business. It took us about ten months to get it up and running, and it opened February 28th of 2018. Now, three and a half years later, we’ve installed a new store manager, which means I’m no longer part of the day-to-day operations. I’m free to do it all again – to clear my space and make my energy as positive as I possibly can, creating room for the Universe to match my rising vibration. And sure enough, it did it again. I launched my spiritual business in October of 2020 with my very first paid natal chart reading. It’s gaining momentum all the time, and I keep getting new ideas for services I want to offer, new “hell yes” ideas. I’m just riding that wave of “hell yes” energy, and if in the moment I’m not getting a “hell yes,” then it’s time for a nap, to watch some Netflix, crack open a beer, or go outside and walk barefoot in the grass (if you haven’t seen The Earthing Movie, I highly recommend it.) 

This all happened because I was willing to bet my future on this truth that resonated with me – that if I raise my vibration, the Universe will deliver things that match. I chose to walk the path of inspired ideas and divine timing, and I can tell you the key ingredient to letting that happen was faith. I jumped off the cliff and it all unfolded beneath me, “hell yes” moments leading me from one step to the next.

Thank you for reading, dear friends! Find more articles like this one on the Owning Authenticity blog and hear more stories on my i Learned podcast. Explore the rest of my offerings on my website www.owningauthenticity.com

Content from Episode 2 of “i learned…” podcast by Carly Whorton, adapted by Maddie Billings