As a long-time chronic overeater, I’ve basically stamped out my body’s ability to tell me when I’m full. I don’t have a full – I can eat until I’m so top heavy that I just sort of topple over and go to sleep. And honestly, I have a lot of shame about this behavior. I’m not trying to shame anybody else who might resonate with what I said, I am very much owning my own emotional experience.
On another note, today is day forty-nine of no alcohol and it feels like an inspired step forward. I had realized that the sensation of drinking alcohol felt like a step backwards for me, every time. When the alcohol would wear off the next morning, I felt like I needed to make up ground for the step backwards I took. I realized, eventually, that I didn’t want to keep taking those backwards steps. I decided to just try for a little while to not do that. To not drink. That was forty-nine days ago, and was where the first door opened to this new world of wellness I’ve discovered.
Just two days into not drinking, I had the energy and inspiration to explore bedtime yoga routines and I picked a quick twelve-minute one to try. I wasn’t that energized and didn’t want to spend a ton of time, but then the next day, I felt the difference. Those few minutes of stretching and gentleness and just sort of rocking my body and being in my body – it felt really nice. So I decided to carve out some brief time that day to do it again. And that was forty-seven days ago. I’ve been doing ten to fifteen minutes of gentle movement every day since, and then yesterday I felt inspired to kick the “intensity” up a notch and get my heart rate up more, push a little past my limits of comfort and ease, and it felt really good. I actually had the energy for it.
My body called for it so naturally. When walking out in nature I was drawn to this cool little patch, and then from there I turned around and saw this hill that made me think, “I wanna run up that hill.” And so I did! Eight times! And it’s just like that. I didn’t force it on myself, it was just naturally expressed – the desire to run up the hill. It felt amazing. Today will also be day eleven of meditation. Meditation is something I’ve resisted all along the way (a story for another day) but after forty-nine days of no alcohol and forty-seven days of yoga and exercise, the meditation piece was just the logical next step. And it came like the others – effortlessly.
One day I just woke up and meditation sounded so nice. I stepped into that for a bit and did about ten minutes of meditation. It felt really good, so the next day I carved out about ten minutes to do it again. And that was eleven days ago. Three days into that, I had the realization that I hadn’t had a food binge in a couple of days. I was amazed, because that just happened all by itself. I didn’t make an actual conscious effort to curb my binge eating, it just happened as a result of the other developments in my health and wellbeing. But once I consciously realized this, I decided to use that awareness to make the conscious effort not to binge that night (because it usually happens at night). I was successful! And that was nine days ago.
These days that I’m counting aren’t coming from a place of perfectionism, or trying to look a certain way or reach “optimal” health. If you’ve listened to my podcast or read any of my content, you know that my passion is emotion management, pursuing joy and getting in harmony with our emotions. When I made the whim decision to quit alcohol forty-seven days ago, I was just trying to do something to feel better. I didn’t expect that this decision would spark a whole inner transformation in my perspective on physical health. Once I started feeling good (two days in), the momentum grew and one thing led to another, which eventually led to my discovering Fit2Fat2Fit. Yet another natural and divinely-timed next step.
Since learning about the impact that food can have on our emotions, I can see now that eating whole, natural, nutritious foods will only serve to strengthen your emotion management tools. And as someone who has twice been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, to learn that the ups and downs in our emotions are tied to our diet is a major game changer. I’m a naturally rebellious person and I don’t do well with restrictions and limitations, but this truly doesn’t feel limiting. If anything, it feels freeing and expansive. I can eat whatever I want, but by choosing to eat foods that are healthy for my body, I can only improve upon all of the time and effort I’ve put into emotion management.
This ongoing transformation taking place in my body, my energy, and my life is blowing my mind. If I already am feeling so good that I want to run up a hill eight times, then I can’t even imagine how amazing I’ll be feeling in another few weeks! If any of this resonates with you, I encourage you to check out these resources I’ve listed that have opened my eyes and my heart and fueled me along this awakening to a new perspective of physical health:
- S1E1 Fit to Fat to Fit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K0uXtlRZW0 *Watch all episodes on YouTube search #fittofattofit
- Drew Manning Interview (creator of Fit to Fat to Fit): Why Weight Loss Is All In Your Head | Drew Manning on Health Theory
- Fast Food Baby: Raising Kids on Junk Food | Full Documentary | Fast Food Baby
- The Pyramid Scheme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBb5TFxj1S0
- Fat Fiction: Fat Fiction – Full Movie – Free
Thank you for reading, dear friends! Find more articles like this one on the Owning Authenticity blog and hear more stories on my i Learned podcast. Explore the rest of my offerings on my website www.owningauthenticity.com
Content from Episode 71 of “i learned…” podcast by Carly Whorton, adapted by Maddie Billings